Imperfection
Feb 22, 2009
11:28 PM
Imperfection.
"I've filled all the imperfection in you, therefore, you doesn't need to turn into another person..."
How true is this...
Heard it from a song which I've always been looking for.
But till now, i've only got the chorus part.
No one is perfect in this world.
Imperfection is what best described.
We realize the weaknesses of a person when we're getting to know them more.
Somehow, it's not everyone who can accept the weaknesses that they found.
It ended up where the other half leaving the other ones.
Lovers, friends, family, colleague, employees and so on...
I tend to have this kinda feelings lately.
I dun like it.
I guess i found out too much weakness of people who are close to me.
Certain ppl, they just like to criticize or make fun of others to satisfy themselves.
In certain way, we can accept it, but in certain way we can't.
Problem occurs when they doesn't know the bottom line.
But do they even bother about one's bottom line?
Honestly, I was unhappy with certain stuff sometimes.
It's really irritating when it comes into my ear.
I'm trying to make myself deaf sometimes.
Guess what?! Am having a very useful lesson how on "How to build a wall to defend myself from insults"
Action, shows feelings.
Words, shows thoughts.
Even no matter how much u're hiding from ur words, ur action shows.
Even ur action doesn't shows, ur words do mean it.
I guess i've smell sumthin fishy going on lately.
Well, certain ppl choose to ignore.
But, from my observation....
I've got sum conclusion of my own.
In certain times, i was stabbed and being shot in a sudden...
I just couldn't understand the joke.
Well, i guess to satisfy another person's need, therefore someone have to be sacrificed?
I think so.
That's the best solution that i can look for to make my heart stop bleeding.
Am i just tat worse?
May be sometimes in certain way. I guess.
But I'm treating u nice, if you're making me feel comfortable with.
Anyway, I'll just have to say, certain people are just too childish.
Imperfection is what we have to learn nowadays.
What can i say more?
See with your eyes,
Feel with your heart,
Think wisely,
Make the right choice.
In certain situation, I have no choice.
But just to be calm.
Making myself to tolerate.
:)
21 Saturday 09
Feb 21, 2009
11:44 PM
昨天，回家的时候，下起雨来，
之前，我好爱雨天。
会觉得，雨天会带来点酸酸甜甜的感觉。
刚刚回来的时候，雨滴落在我手里，望着天空，忽然好希望在这时刻下场大雨，好让我清醒。
心情好沉重。
有好多复杂和莫名的感觉。
体力上好累，精神上的疲倦，心灵上的悲伤，
是否那里可以遇见对的人。
谁人是用真心来对你。
是否说出口，那些都可以信任吗。
如果比上了眼睛，是否我就可以把心让你保管吗。
要遇见能够说真心话得人，
她（他）也是会用一样的心来对我吗。
伤还我的话，我听了好多。
是否是真心话。
我不想去分解。
偶尔，是个玩笑，偶尔，是刺伤人的话。
话中有话，可是最难分解的。
只是想找个人聊聊，
却没人我想分享的。
分享了，未必是能够了解的。
要不就说，你那么，你这样，
听了，我好累。难道我自己不知道我再做什么吗。
我，就是非常的情绪化。
我，是不会被看在眼里的人。
我，是不起眼地。
我，不符合我的年龄。
我，不是你们所能够玩得起的人。
我，是歌会介意他人的眼光。
但，我也只能说，批评我的也好不到哪里去。
冷静了。。。
也觉得，舒服点。。。
好了，累了。。
晚安。。。
第二天
10:28 AM
雨季。。。过了，看来我也好久没来报到。
新年也过了。
我只有九天的假期。
来回，都吃了我两天。
但，回到了美里，却没什么含朋友们联络。
见了几位我常见的。
我大概也在他身上花了不少时间吧。
在我回去之前，我已知道我的感觉已慢慢的减少了。。
我其实是想要在这次回去的时候，就把他说清楚。
但，每当我看见他的时候，我都说不去口。
至到我们的最后一晚，我试着暗示他，
眼泪就慢慢得流。。。
我看见了。。。
心里觉得我改在给我们多点时间。
这一次回去，他的确有打动了我。
但我真得好矛盾，毕竟我还是觉得，我们有太多事情让我无法接受我们会有未来的进展。
好多事情，我其实都很在意。
我也是个女人，也许，我能够很直接的说，我不能包容着一切，
我明白感情的问题是不应该衡量的。
但，我看见你的付出，并不是我想象中的那样。
刚回来的时候，我还是有点不舍得。
但我知道，时间会让一切淡忘。
果然，这几天我都在忙着考试，也开始又回到这里的生活。
这几天也在矛盾着该如何开口呢？
我该这个时候说吗？
结果，我也选着了。
昨天 一起来，我就收到了他的简讯。
回了他，也直接的说。
我感觉到他很气。
我忽然感到很内疚，
我不想让他伤心。
我其实也感觉到疲倦了。
我想，让一切结束。。。
去了日本，再重新开始吧。。
加油！
My man 
Ing